I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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