Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
