We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
