some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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