oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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