don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
as a side note pls kill me
There's even glitter on my cock...
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