apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
In America we eat man semen.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
