so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she told me i tasted like america
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
