I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
