Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
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And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
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one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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