Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
