and you said cock pushups were impossible
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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