on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
