No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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