i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
