where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
