need another drink. this is the easiest way
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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