Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
