i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
