We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
