One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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