I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
