i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
