you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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