Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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