What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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