Non-Jews are for practice
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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