im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize