I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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