When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
