Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Someone signed my nipple.
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