TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
