check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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