Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
