I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize