It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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