I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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