dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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