You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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