My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
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