He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
