on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
