wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
