he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
