so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize