i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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