I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!