Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..