did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
