she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
