Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
