okay pat passed out under dana's car
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
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I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
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I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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