hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
