Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
