She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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