im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize