I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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