I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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