Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
