no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
