If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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