I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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