I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize